STUH-RUGGLING

Ok, so I had a horrendous day at work today.  I'm not quite the new girl now, but not quite seasoned so I'm starting to get looks when I ask questions.  You know the look, the "are you really asking that question" look...or the "I thought you were experienced" look.  I take things like this personally...too personally and in the past it's gotten me in jams.  I guess it's my desire to fit in.  So I picked up my phone and rant and rave to my hubby who gave me some good advice; just keep to myself and keep plugging along. See, I tend to want to be friends with EVERYONE...and I realized today that it's almost to a fault.  I need to separate the two at work and that will be SOOOOO hard for me.  I have always blended the two together and that line between the two was/is always SO gray.  For me, this is my challenge...to remain focused on work while at work and not friends and I have to stop worrying about whether or not people like me. I have to do my job well to be successful (and collect a pay check). 

Struggling seems to be a theme for me this week, I'm having a REALLY hard time keeping myself motivated.  All I've wanted to do was eat for the last 4 days and have no clue why. Stress? Boredem? PMS? Food addiction? I wish I could figure it out.  The good thing is that watching me want to change has rubbed off on my older daughter who struggles with the same love for food as I do.  She could eat ALL DAY if I let her and as we speak, she is walking on the treadmill.  I in no way shape or form want to her to feel like she has to exercise, she afterall only 10 but I want her to know that she needs to start taking care of herself now because it only gets harder as she gets older. Maybe if we work on it together, we can both achieve our goals?!  Funny to me that the strength I need is coming from the 10 year old in the house and not the 37 year old. Maybe because she's a girl, she gets me? Or I get her? I don't know....but I do know that at 8:00, my butt will be on that treadmill watching American Idol and sweating my butt off!

I guess without stuggles, we would never know success. At least that's what I've read and been told. I've gotten within a pinch of success a few times, and it felt great to get there.  So this stuggle tonight is going to make me stronger...no chocolate, just a bottle of water (thanks Aim) and a long walk. 

As far as work is concerned....I have to keep telling myself that every day I'm learning some thing new and every day there will be a struggle. That's what makes it rewarding, to overcome it on my way to success.

I hope you all have found success through your struggles....and if not, just keep chuggin' away.